Receiving lifetime achievement awards at the Kennedy Center in our Nation’s Capital are the following:
Smoky Robinson: I’m guessing, black.
Steven Spielberg: I’m guessing, Jew.
Dolly Parton: I’m guessing, chick. (With those tits? Damn straight!)
Zubin Mehta: I’m guessing, Parsi. (Yeah, I had to look it up. The Parsi are a religious sect in India who trace their beliefs back to Zoroaster. Mehta, by the way, is an orchestra conductor, the only one of the five connected with real “art.”)
Andrew Lloyd Webber: I’m guessing, gay. (Maybe he’s straight, but if so he doesn’t look it. What’s a straight guy doing on Broadway?)
Most of the snark here is directed, not at the winners, but the Kennedy Center, for inflicting this kitsch on us as though it were a big deal, not to mention the worshipful coverage provided by the Washington Post, desperately trying to sell the myth that DC actually has culture. Forget it! This town is about expense accounts, not the good, the true, and the beautiful!
*For those with short memories, the words of Reagan Secretary of the Interior James Watt: “We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple. And we have talent.” (Describing the members of the U.S. Commission on Fair Market Value Policy for Federal Coal Leasing to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce on September 21, 1983.) Big Jim is remembered for, among other things, saying that conservation wasn’t necessary because Jesus would be showing up soon and the whole world would be going to Hell. You won’t need to worry about carbon dioxide, dude! You’ll be carbon dioxide! You’ll be on fire!
0 comments:
Post a Comment